Poetry: Series of Notes Discovered In A Desk

Memo

Glad to see you're settling in,
Remember to stop by the staffroom
Where we keep the list of initiation rituals
See you behind the bleechers at lunch.

R.S.V.P

Can confirm will not attend
Self-aggrandising birthday as
Only pretended to like you
To get ahead in life.
Would not be sorry if never
Saw your sorry face again.
R.S.V.P if any questions.
P.S, see you at work on monday.

Plz advise

Plz advise whether time-portal
Still in same place as before
Need to settle an old bet
Only way to resolve it.

Dear Mum

Gone to meet woman of dreams.
Am a big boy now, so plz don't wait up.
P.S, remember to wake me up in morn.
And plz pop my electric blanket on 4 me.

Urgent

In love with you
Hope to father your children
Plz advise.

Phone Call

Nice to meet you
Let's catch up soon.
Tomorrow? Bit too soon, 'fraid.
Need a week to recharge the old batteries.

A Formal Apology

It seemed like a good idea at the time
If I could take it back, I might,
I usually don't do that kind of thing,
Even when i'm alone at home,
I always blow my nose, or just
Leave the snot encrusted in the rim.
I do apologise for my possession
Of a nose, a functioning nose,
Which expels bodily fluids,
Its not a good look, I know,
I'm sure the the news will retain
File-footage of my famous pickage
So that I might never forget it - nor you.

Poetry: Poems Too Close To Home, Pamphlet

The Ladder
First Published in The Mozzie magazine, aka Micropress Oz, out of Queensland.

I looked up at Grandpa
stretched to the sky, &
I held the ladder tight.

I could smell him - and my childhood...
Windows broken by backyard cricket
giggling while he slept in his chair and growled!
Teaching me to play golf, listening
while he played me songs from
His childhood. Oh Danny Boy...
In a second I was there,
So many places at once
In so many times.

I wanted to hug him
But he was too high, so I
Held the ladder tight…


Stale Mate

He pricks her fingertip
With her consent
Her cheeks bunch up…
The seduction ends.

He supplied an alibi
For inner-office pastimes
He hardly came by
To fix the fax line…

He tuned her world
And found her girl
Became a stale mate
And stayed anyway...