Memo
Glad to see you're settling in,
Remember to stop by the staffroom
Where we keep the list of initiation rituals
See you behind the bleechers at lunch.
R.S.V.P
Can confirm will not attend
Self-aggrandising birthday as
Only pretended to like you
To get ahead in life.
Would not be sorry if never
Saw your sorry face again.
R.S.V.P if any questions.
P.S, see you at work on monday.
Plz advise
Plz advise whether time-portal
Still in same place as before
Need to settle an old bet
Only way to resolve it.
Dear Mum
Gone to meet woman of dreams.
Am a big boy now, so plz don't wait up.
P.S, remember to wake me up in morn.
And plz pop my electric blanket on 4 me.
Urgent
In love with you
Hope to father your children
Plz advise.
Phone Call
Nice to meet you
Let's catch up soon.
Tomorrow? Bit too soon, 'fraid.
Need a week to recharge the old batteries.
A Formal Apology
It seemed like a good idea at the time
If I could take it back, I might,
I usually don't do that kind of thing,
Even when i'm alone at home,
I always blow my nose, or just
Leave the snot encrusted in the rim.
I do apologise for my possession
Of a nose, a functioning nose,
Which expels bodily fluids,
Its not a good look, I know,
I'm sure the the news will retain
File-footage of my famous pickage
So that I might never forget it - nor you.
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