Play: Skipping (short)

For Zoe

GIRL skipping, two chairs.

BOY enters, surveys the scene, exhales happily. Sees the chair closest him, decides he wants to set up camp. They are total strangers.

BOY: Is someone sitting here?

GIRL: Not really.

BOY confused, pulls a face, decides not to make a scene, sits down happily.

BOY: I like this place.

GIRL: (Stops skipping) I like you…

In a sudden fit they lunge at each other and begin playing tonsil-hockey, knocking over the chairs, almost falling over, finally resting, her head on his chest, both panting. They should be standing when they’re done. Somehow, GIRL needs to secret skipping rope away during this bustle.

GIRL: Wait, will this change things?

BOY: Change them from what? There was nothing before. This has got to be better than that.

GIRL: No, but…

BOY goes to speak.

Sorry, you go.

BOY: Well, I was just thinking…

GIRL: Wait… Can’t we just stay like this…

BOY: (not following) Like what?

GIRL: Shhhh…

BOY: (pause, irritated) Why do I have to Shh?

GIRL: Talking’s overrated (goes to kiss him.)

BOY: (he ducks it, protests) You really think so?

GIRL: Mostly. The people I know…

They stand in silence, growing increasingly awkward in their embrace.

BOY: (getting frustrated) Why don’t you want to talk?

GIRL: (growing increasingly agitated, lays head on his chest, strokes him like trying to shoosh a baby) Come on, just a minute longer.

BOY: (pause, significant) In case something spoils it.

GIRL: (as if, miracle, he understands) Exactly.

BOY: Because its too precious.

GIRL: (even more impressed, exclaims) Its like we knew each other our whole lives!

BOY: (unfurls himself from her, folds his arms) Alright, name one thing about me.

GIRL: (hesitates) Alright. (walks a little distance, on her own invisible pier, begins a mystical recitation, as if a psychic calling up ephemera from the deep. BOY watches with a bemused expression, himself now just one of the audience) You own a business… A little rabbit farm where you and your brothers used to roll in the hay when you were young… (scoffs at the level of her delusion) That’s where you developed your interest in football… The girls at school didn’t appreciate you… (now BOY is disturbed) What did they know… You hadn’t yet grown into your body… You don’t like it when a girl talks dirty… You like her to be your princess… You’re decent, and kind, and decent, and rich…

BOY: Alright, that’s just enough. (GIRL startled, as if woken from dream) This is what you don’t want me to spoil?

GIRL: (like he’s crazy) Hey, its your story…

BOY: (incredulous) Where the fuck did all that come from? ('hell' is fine if any minors present, but strong word needed)

GIRL: (pouts) If that’s how you’re going to treat me, I’ll walk out.

BOY: You’ll walk? I’m gone… See ya later. (BOY walks… Almost gone, comes back to her, wags a finger in her face) You wanna know something? I’m actually not that nice a guy. I was never chubby and the girls did appreciate me…

GIRL: Ah! (puts fingers in ears) La la la, I can’t hear you!

BOY: (shouting to get through to her) I partied my dick off…

GIRL: What?

BOY: (quickly, embarrassed at having stooped to her level) Nothing. (shakes her hand) You need help. (goes towards exit again)

GIRL: (feigning a feint) You never appreciated me…

BOY: (calls over shoulder) We only just met!

GIRL: (swoons) A lifetime ago…

BOY: (comes back) No, it was five minute ago… You were skipping, I came in…

GIRL: I was skipping? How old do I look?

BOY: I definitely remember some skipping.

GIRL: (looking to female audience for commiseration) See, more of his lies…

BOY: If I can find a skipping rope around here, will you admit you’re cracked?

GIRL: Probably, alright.

BOY: And get some help?

GIRL: (smiles sweetly) And if you can’t?

BOY: Then we’ll agree to disagree. We’ll go on our separate ways, and that’ll be the end of it. Alright?

GIRL: Sounds fair.

BOY: Alright. Just give me a minute here…

Gets ready to have a good look around.

GIRL: What are you doing?

BOY: I’m stretching… I can’t be getting down on the ground without the proper… Precautions… (mocking her) I’ve got a big game tomorrow… Of football, which I play, according to you.

GIRL: What of it?

BOY: (dismissive) Alright, how bout you don’t distract me so I can find this thing and go home.

GIRL: Alright.

BOY searches for skipping rope, on hands and knees… Just pretend it’s a tiny little earring… Just look, don’t need to shift any imaginary objects. Focus must be on GIRL.

GIRL begins to follow, walking slowly around him, her back slowly coming to the audience, for the last reveal, holding the rope in one hand, the other hand clutching the rope-hand’s wrist, bobbing leisurely.

GIRL: Did you find it yet?

Lights dim slowly.